Brenda Gail Reynolds Gay, a lifelong educator, counselor, and beloved friend, passed away peacefully, on March 1, 2025, in St. Louis, Missouri, at the age of 82.
Born on Oct. 12, 1942, in Madison, Tennessee, Brenda was the cherished daughter of the late Rev. Harlan F. and Elise Reynolds. She spent a joyful childhood in and around Old Hickory in the Nashville area, developing a lifelong love for family, faith, and learning.
After three years at Antioch High School, Brenda’s life changed when her father accepted a pastoral position in Cookeville, Tennessee. Though initially dismayed to leave her friends behind, she soon turned lemons into lemonade—forming lifelong friendships and meeting the man who would later become her husband, Don Gay.
Brenda graduated from Cookeville High School and went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in education from Tennessee Technological University, where she later also completed her master’s and specialist degrees in education.
In 1964, Brenda began teaching at White County High School, in Sparta, Tennessee, where she would remain for over 35 years. She taught physical education, English, typing, shorthand, and business, though it was as a guidance counselor that she truly found her calling. She approached each student with compassion and empathy, offering practical support, wise counsel, and steadfast encouragement. Brenda believed deeply in the importance of her work, and her impact continues to be felt by the generations of students and families she supported.
In 1965, she married John Metcalf at First Baptist Church in Sparta, a ceremony she remembered as taking place on “the hottest July day ever.” Five years later, her life was forever changed by the birth of her son, John Todd Metcalf—a moment she often described as the greatest joy of her life.
Brenda was a devoted mother who embodied unconditional love. She gave her all to supporting her loved ones, not just through the big life moments, but in daily acts of presence, care, and kindness. Her faith and deep belief in serving others extended to her friendships as well. Brenda never met a stranger, and countless people were blessed by the immediacy and depth of her friendship. She loved being with her people—whether at church, over dinner, on a trip, or around a bridge table.
Bridge was one of Brenda’s great passions. A keen and skilled player, she relished the mental challenge of the game and the camaraderie it brought. She also loved to read—especially history and biography, with the occasional beach read thrown in—a habit she inherited from her father and passed on to her son. Her passion for history and culture fueled her love of travel, and she explored the world with joy and curiosity: visiting presidential libraries, historic landmarks, museums, cathedrals, and palaces across the country and around the globe.
Brenda was also an enthusiastic fan of the Tennessee Volunteers, cheering not only for the football team but for Vol athletics in all its forms. She approached fandom like she approached bridge—fiercely loyal, thoroughly informed, and not at all fond of losing.
Faith was the foundation of Brenda’s life. A devoted follower of Christ, she lived out her beliefs in word and deed every day. Her church community was one of her greatest joys, and her unwavering faith guided her through life’s challenges and triumphs alike. She strove always to embody the love, grace, and service at the heart of her beliefs.
Brenda’s life was a testament to the power of kindness, purpose, and faith. She was the kind of person who never met a stranger, who made people feel seen and heard, and who approached life with heart and humor. She will be remembered not only for her deep dedication to her students and community but for her wit, warmth, and unwavering belief in the good in others.
She is survived by her loving husband, Dr. W. Donald Gay, of St. Louis, Missouri; her son, Todd Metcalf, of Washington, DC; her sister, Janis Reynolds Mitchell (Charles), of The Villages, Florida; her stepson, Chris Gay, of St. Louis; grandchildren, Connor Gay and Emily Trulove (Daniel), and great-grandson, Ryan, all of St. Louis; nephews, Austin (Leslie) and Aaron (Angela) Mitchell and their families, of Nashville, Tennessee; and many cousins, former students, and dear friends.
A Celebration of Life will be held on Saturday, April 26, 2025, at First Baptist Church in Sparta, Tennessee. Visitation will begin at 1 p.m., followed by a memorial service at 3 p.m.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to any charity of your choosing.
